….IT’S JUST DIFFERENT
Finding out we were pregnant with our second when we did honestly was a little bit of a surprise, a wonderful one but still a surprise. We weren’t trying, but we weren’t not trying either so it was bound to happen. To be completely honest a tiny part of me selfishly for a brief second was a little bummed at the timing. Yes, I know that sounds awful judge me all you want. The reason behind this moment was that I was just feeling myself again. I was able to workout consistently, my muscles were coming back, and I just felt good. Brian always calls me a one upper because I can win any argument with “did you give natural childbirth…twice?” I say this because there are very few circumstances in life where a human literally surrenders who they are for a short time period to dedicate every ounce of your physical, mental, and emotional body for another living being.
I will not go into the details of my second pregnancy too much. I was not able to work out for the last 5 months of it like I had planned on. Ha there is a funny thought, “planned on” like I am in control of everything. I was also not able to coach this time around. This was extremely difficult for me. Granted I was able to spend a lot of quality time with Asher which was fantastic, but who I was…..a coach, a business owner, a fit woman, a wife of a fit man, a role model, and someone who loves being in our community and connecting with people…….seemed to be almost non existent. So after some tears in those last few months and hearing over and over again you will get back to it in no time, I shifted my mindset. It took one of my friends saying, enjoy this last time (because we don’t plan on having anymore little Nedab’s) being pregnant and enjoy Asher as much as you can because two is………..just different. Not in a bad way, just different.
After hearing those words, anytime I would be uncomfortable physically I would play that in my head and Asher and I would constantly go places new and have a ball together. I couldn’t wait to be back in the gym and would pop in frequently just to feel a part of it. Yes, that was difficult. “Just to feel a part of” something Brian and I have our blood, sweat, and tears engrained into.
Fast forward. Everyone says it is harder to get back to your old self again after the second kid. Well, I physically felt way better AND way worse than I did when I had Asher. On the way better side, I felt I was going to be able to be active a lot sooner this time around. On the way worse side, I was extremely self conscious about how I looked. I have never been that way in my life. Tugging at my shirt when I felt people were looking
at my stomach and not wanting to wear shorts because I just didn’t like my legs. My amazing husband is well…amazing. He had to see this person complain, and cover up, and question her abilities as an athlete, coach, and business owner for weeks. To me the first five weeks after having Layla seemed like five months and nothing was changing.
I started working out the first couple of weeks and felt pretty good. Brian was super supportive, and motivated me just enough. Then the day came where I posted a video to the gym right before a workout explaining something about the rings. Looked at the video later and was frustrated with how I looked and frustrated with everyone that said “you just had a baby.” Not that I didn’t appreciate it that people were trying to be supportive and it may help other women, but those words just made me want to scream. Yes, I know. That doesn’t make me feel any better when I look in the mirror. Sorry, it just doesn’t.
Later that day though my best friend and I were talking. As we were chatting, she said she had to take a double take while watching that video because “Sabrina was working out in a t-shirt in the summer?” I have a million tank tops for those of you that don’t know me and that is basically what I work out in. This was a significant moment that my mind clicked back into who Sabrina IS……..the fit woman, the fit wife, the healthy mom, the owner of this amazing business that we help change people’s live, the H.B.I.C. I placed those in a specific order for a reason. I am me and have to take time for myself and work on myself just like I always have, my husband and I deserve for the other to be fit and healthy and honestly to look good for the other person, my kids (not just my daughter) need a good example of a strong woman and so I can stay active with them throughout my entire life, the gym simply because it is an amazing place with an incredible community that I want to continue to grow, and well you get the rest!!!
How does all of this relate to my workouts and maybe even your approach to workouts? We train for life. Yes, with some competitions here and there, but overall it is for life. I used to go into WODs with the who do I need to chase or who do I need to stay ahead of mindset. Not egotistical, this is just what worked for me to push outside of my comfort zone. That and a little bit of that competitiveness I mentioned before. This was also when I was able to randomly go to whichever class I wanted to and could lift or get extra work in anytime as well. I have learned that now, everything has to be on a schedule. The only random times I will get “bonus” workouts in is when God graces me with two children napping for an hour and a half at the same time. Therefore I have to make the most out of each one. *****I say this as I am breast feeding, typing, and telling Brian that I will be ready to get our home garage workout in about 15 minutes because I know Layla will be fed and happy in the pack n play for at least 45 minutes.*****
Going into each workout has a way different approach, for now anyway,
I set mini goals. Examples: each set of knee raises unbroken or I will make it through half of this EMOM with the recommended number and the other half I will cut the numbers back to keep my intensity where it needs to be at this time. I am still able to push outside my comfort zone to get the workouts I need in while not feeling defeated at the same time.
To conclude, I am extremely happy with where I am mentally, emotionally, and physically. I can’t even begin to describe this amazing feeling as a family of four! And like I titled this blog It’s Just Different……in the best way!!!!!!